Since ending the sabbatical, I’ve been stood up by Mustache #2, I lost a Friday night to the Friday Night Thief and I revisited a previous dater (I didn’t write about it, but let’s just say, 3rd time was not a charm with Friend Zone Guy).
That said, it shouldn’t be a complete shock that I’m actually excited about tonight’s blind date.
Now, when I say “blind date” what I really mean is a friend from work set us up and forwarded me his Facebook page. Therefore, what I am not blind to is that he is tall, good looking, has a great education and makes photo videos to good music of his travels abroad. He also appears to play in a band that could border on hokey – which, if you know me, is a big plus – and he has been very nice and mildly funny in his emails.
Here’s the problem…
So far today, I giggled out loud at his email confirming the time and place for the date, I smiled to myself while walking through the office and I even had a daydream about him contacting our mutual friend for the office address and sending me flowers tomorrow.
I know…barf.
….I know.
I have absolutely NO idea if I’m going to like this guy tonight and even less of an idea if he’s going to like me, so what’s the deal?
I’m guessing that the reason for this is similar to the reason I got all excited about white rapper #2 – a younger guy with no job living in his parent’s NY basement…
I’ve been accidentally abstinent for too long. It’s a fact of single life and I blame the following people:
Friday-Night Thief
Mustache #1
Mustache #2
TMI Dan, Confusing-Name Guy
Mario the Masseur
the guy who told me that I ate a lot on our date
Laurie (the texter that turned out to be a girl)
“Let us pray” Guy
Twice-Engaged Guy
Soft-Core Porn Guy
Friend Zone Guy
Waiter-friend Guy
Pretentious Side-Note Guy
B-Looking Girl Guy
LA Guy
They are all responsible for my current situation.
Not quite sure what we’re going to do about the over-arching problem, but I DO know that between now and 8 PM tonight I need to simmer down. I don’t want to turn this poor guy into someone he’s not, and I don’t want to attack him if it turns out that he is.
I’m just going to keep telling myself: He’s better looking in his picture…his band is his life…he spends every Saturday night with his friends…he’s actually 5′6″ and posts pictures of himself with his 5′2″ friends…
Anything else?? Come on friends, help a sista out.
I’m guessing a picture like this isn’t going to help me, but you’re welcome anyway.
I like Facebook as much as the next girl – especially since most people’s photos are still available for the viewing – but while we’re on the topic of Too Much Information…
Facebook friending (as we’ve discussed before) is not a science by any means. There are few rules and if you’re of a certain age and went to a large-enough high school or college, you’re bound to have roughly 150 past acquaintances that now hold the title Friend. It’s all pretty innocent of course. So what if that guy from your AP Environmental Science has access to your pictures and status updates? No harm, no foul. I’m too am guilty of logging on the pages of once forgotten high school classmates to see how they turned out.
My recent issue is with the Facebook Chat. It breaks down the safety-barrier of the skillfully tagged/untagged pictures and allows for real-time, unedited personal conversations with the people that you can’t remember having conversations with back when you spent hours upon hours in the same building.
Here’s what happened…
Back in August, I was minding my own business (well, not really) on Facebook and all of sudden a window pops up and I hear that little “blip.” It’s this guy I went to elementary, middle and high school with. I hardly remember us having interaction over those 13 years (and mind you, I was in the marching band, so it’s not like I was too cool for school).
My mind immediately starts racing through the reasons he could want to catch-up via live chat. According to his profile, he lives in Canada, so I’m guessing he doesn’t want to go out. After the initial “hello, how are you doing” chat, he drops “I’m engaged.”
Now I get it. He’s so excited about his pending nuptials that he wants all of his Facebook friends to know and he is devoted enough to chat with each of us personally. So the conversations goes like this (exactly like this, actually):
S.A.G. “nice! congratulations, when are you getting married?”
Random high school guy: “it’s ok, she’s far away right now. Maybe next summer, not really sure yet”
S.A.G. “oh. where is she?”
Random high school guy: “She’s from Sweden. I met her in Boston. Sometimes I miss the single life though. It’s a big leap that’s for sure.”
S.A.G. “well…sometimes I miss having someone. The grass is always greener”
Random high school guy: “Yeah. I had no idea what a change it would be”
S.A.G. “Being engaged?”
Random high school guy: “Yeah. I had the best single life living in Boston.”
S.A.G. “So…is she living in Sweden right now?” (a quick change of subject, followed shortly by a “my computer battery is about to die” excuse)
Since this Facebook chat, he has chatted with me before every major holiday to ask if I’m going to be home and if I would like to get a drink. Each time I inquired about the engagement and each time it was still on. So sad.
I didn’t think too much about this isolated incident, but then this happened…
Same situation – a “blip” from a random guy that lives far away, but this time he is from college and he is so obscure that when he originally asked to be Facebook friends I had to look at all his pictures and our mutual friends before deciding it would be bad form not to accept.
At the very start of the chat I mentioned that I needed to be going to get to my dinner plans. He asked if it was a date and I said yes (it’s true, the sabbatical is over) and then he starts telling me about his ex-girlfriend…
S.A.G. “how long since the breakup?”
Random college guy: “well, about 6 months…but we kind of didn’t stop being physically exclusive until about a week ago.”
S.A.G. “wow. So one week.”
Random college guy: “it was a weird breakup…no bitterness but we stayed physically exclusive which was great. Oh no no…we have been broken up.”
S.A.G. “that’s nice…but I bet it’s hard to be unemotional about sex when it used to emotional”
Random college guy: “we just…ya know…stayed in touch physically!”
S.A.G. “I hear you. For sure. I’m sorry, but it’s time that I get out of here so that I’m not more late than usual.”
Random college guy: “Yeah that’s the problem…I like the emotional sex so much more though”
S.A.G. “It’s good to have a mix, I’m sure. Have a great saint patrick’s day!”
Random college guy: “I feel like if there is emotion I can make her feel better and take her to places she wouldn’t normally go…if you get my drift.”
S.A.G. (in my mind) “Your subtlety makes it difficult, but I think I get it…”
BTW – This was the FIRST conversation we’d had in 5 years and it took place over a total of 5 minutes
Anywho, I’m now officially “Offline.” For those of you that have experienced something similar, here’s how you change the setting:
