“So..how did you two meet?” – This might be the most common question asked of couples.

I’ve also heard the term “meet cute” as a phrase for the way that couples meet in movies (OK, so I’m referencing The Holiday, is that a problem?). Well, you KNOW that most girls, in particular, love telling these cute stories.

When I was with my last boyfriend, I dreaded that question. Not sure you can blame me. I mean, how would you feel if your boyfriend had been so drunk that he didn’t actually remember meeting you, but woke up the next morning and the only two things he could remember from the day before were your name and phone number? Impressive, maybe, but not what I would call a “meet cute.”

Well, things might be turning around for me…

A few weeks ago my team from work was leaving early to get drinks on a Friday afternoon. I was in charge of texting everyone the location and time. When putting together the mass text, I realized that I had two numbers for one girl, who also happens to be from my hometown. The numbers were only one digit off (clearly a typo) and so I figured the only option was to include both numbers on the invite and see which one she replies to.

I received a response, but not from my friend. It was from the wrong number and said: “Who is this?”

I replied, “Sorry, wrong number. I’ll delete”

My mystery texter replied, “No prob. funny I actually live by that restaurant.”

WHAT?! This is truly strange. I mean, this wrong number has an area code for a city in Michigan almost 2,000 miles away. What are the chances that I would type a wrong phone number and accidentally contact someone from my home town that now lives practically around the block?

Clearly this mystery individual is the man of my dreams and this will be our “how we met” story – The Best “How We Met” Story Ever.

So I sent the following, “Strange! You’re welcome to join. I’m guessing your from Michigan…me too.”

Reply: “Ha. thanks but at work. Yeah maybe we do know each other lol. Watching U-M alum game at [local bar] tomorrow…”

OK. seriously. This is clearly a hunky, tall, mid-west engineer that went to Michigan and moved here after college. He’s probably getting sick of the “LA Girls” that he keeps taking out to sushi and is looking for a displaced, meat-eating, mid-west girl to settle down with. We can live on the West side, go hiking on Saturdays and travel back to Michigan for all of the holidays, where our two extended families will pile into the same house and sing songs around the piano. Our mothers will become fast friends and travel back and forth to LA together, sharing a hotel room to avoid imposing on us in our beach house, which is quaint, but has personalty.

So now I just need to know his name. I send, “Cool. My name is [my name] BTW.”

The reply: “I’m Laurie. Maybe we’ll run into each other sometime!”

(Booooooooo)

…I have a feeling she was just as disappointed as I was. I should have known that only a girl would use lol via text.

When I was in college, I visited a friend of mine at her sorority house and her roommate had a pair of baby shoes with little hearts on them hanging from her closet door. An odd thing to see in a sorority house, for sure.

When I inquired, she beamed, “My boyfriend gave those to me for valentines day. He said they are our baby’s first pair of shoes.”

They’d been dating for 2 years, but were not married, not pregnant, and had no actual baby plans in the near future…this is strange, right?

Well, I can now top it. Potentially two times over – as of one minute ago.

I went on a first date with Twice-Engaged Guy and mentioned in passing that I liked to sing. His response was, “I’ve always wanted children that can sing.”

A joke, perhaps? I assumed so and laughed with him.Later on the date – while eating tacos at an outdoor taco stand – he asked, “So, what do you think our children will be like?” (In case your wondering, he has three children in mind)

Now, at this point I’m getting confused. Does he have a shockingly-funny sense of humor? Does he think that this is something desperate women want to hear? Which would also mean, by the way, that he considers me desperate. Or, is he seriously considering the talent-range of our children before we’ve completed date #1?

A “?” has been looming over me as I try to figure out how grey this guy’s grey area is. We’re married before meeting, have 3 kids during the 1st date…what’s next? Am I going to show up to a surprise 2nd date anniversary party with all my family and friends because he secretly stole the address book from my phone while I was in the bathroom??

So – fast forward to one minute ago (or however long it took me to write the above). I’m sitting at home on a Friday night with Indian delivery food – hey at least I’m not farming – and I post something on Facebook about my awesome “me” night. Within minutes I have a text message from Twice-Engaged Guy asking about my night and why he wasn’t invited. I repeat to him that tonight is my night.

He replies with the following text: “Lame! I still love u though”

(cue the speechless silence)

(cue the uncomfortable silence)

(Single. Approachable. Girl. turns off her phone, gets up, checks the deadbolt on the front door and eases back onto the couch with her naan and Saag Alu)

Another one bites the dust. Looks like we have potential for many more single stories in our future.

Question: Should I be concerned about an attractive, funny guy who casually mentions that he had a fiance in college during our first phone conversation?

Now, it’s important to note that he went to a school in Nebraska and says it was “young puppy love.” I’m thinking it’s probably OK. And so, the conversation continued.

We’re on the phone for quite a while. He is funny, he had lots of questions to keep the conversation going he had sent some fairly hilarious text messages earlier in the day. I’m thinking I can look past the college fiance…not a true red flag.

So, later in the conversation, he casually drops that he was engaged. I’m thinking, ”yeah, we covered that.”

But, as it turns out, he was, in fact, engaged twice…once again in his early twenties. (The red flag creeps back up).

This is a tough one. If the roles were reversed, I could certainly picture a girl saying yes to a proposal in the heat of the moment and then eventually backing out if she wasn’t sure. Maybe she was taken off guard and all eyes were on her when he pulled out the ring…what have you.

But for a boy, there’s the planning, the buying of a ring and the very strong desire to be with that girl forever. And this cute, funny boy has been through that twice and he’s mentioning it to me on our first phone call.

Now this could be taken a number of ways:

On one hand: He’s a guy that is open about his past and likes to commit.

On the other hand: He’s a guy that probably has an issue with follow-through.

One hand: He’s never been married, or divorced and doesn’t have any kids.

Other hand: If it works out, there’s high probability of a hand-me-down ring in my future.

I think I’ve proven to be fairly open-minded in my dating habits, and there was a lot of “good” on the phone call tonight, so I’m going to give this further investigation.

That said, my “alert-antenna” went up when we were texting again after the phone call and he responded to one of my (witty) texts with this joke:

“Oooh I like that! We are going to get married for sure.”

Footnote:

I looked up the origin of the saying “third times a charm” and found this on WikiAnswers:

The first citation I can find for it is in The Weekly Sentinel, June 1912. This is in a rather snooty court report about a Mrs. Martha Carliss, who had been twice married previously:

That Mrs. Martha Carliss evidently believes in peace and happiness in wedlock and that she probably thinks third time’s a charm is shown by the fact that she was granted a license today to marry Andrew W. Mowery.

Text message: “you around sat night? I might be close to the end here”

I guy I know recently asked me (via text) if I would be available that Saturday night because he was planning on breaking up with his girlfriend – of 2 years – and would need of a date to an event they had planned on going to.

What’s amusing is the stark contrast of his actions (pre-breakup) vs. mine after I broke-up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He’s lining up dates for that weekend, while I was barricaded in my bedroom with a journal and a stockpile of movies.

The day before the event, he sent me a text message saying; they were going to stay together, she was going to the event and “thanks for playing temporary wing woman.”

While this provided another example of how “funny” boys are, I’m still at a loss as to my role in this scenario. Was I a good friend for “being there”? A catalyst for making their relationship stronger? Or a schmuck, since I was the one who had to scramble to make Saturday-night plans?…

I promise not to keep score with with every dating event, but it just so happened that a month after I went 2 for 4 on planes, I went out on Valentine’s Day with 7 boys, and went 4 for 7.

I did not have any plans on Valentines Day and my next door neighbor – a cute, single 30-year-old – invited me to come out with he and his friends.

As it happened, his friends were 6 single guys between the ages of 30 and 40. So there I am, a girl with no Valentine’s Day plans, out to dinner at a local bar with 7 single guys. And since it was v-day, it’s not like there were lots of single girls out and about to distract them.

I felt like I was on a group date on The Bachelorette. Since I was the only girl, the attention was on me and as the night progressed, I found myself spending one-on-one time with each guy. We went to another bar where there was dancing and I would be dancing with one of them and then turn around to realize that another had cut in and I was now dancing with him.

This was a perfect example why the guys all fall for the bachelorette on that show. Guys are competitive by nature and when there is only one girl to focus attention on, they are immediately more and more interested in winning her over, if for no other reason then to be the guy that did.

So, when I say I went 4 for 7, I do not mean that in the crazy-slutty way. I just mean that of the 7 guys:

One asked for my number that night and texted immediately

One asked me to dinner and movie the next night

One found befriended me on Facebook the next day

One (the drunk one) invited himself to come to bed with me. That conversation went something like this…

Me: “I’m going to go to bed, see you all later.”

Drunk guy: “I think I’m going to go to sleep too…unless you would like me to join you.”

Me: “I’m good. But thanks (?)” – voice trailing up

It all started when I flew back home for Christmas. It was a 4-hour flight and it goes without saying that I was not feeling super “fresh.” As I walked into the airport I notice this tall, good looking guy waiting for someone. He sees me, walks over and asks, “Do you know where we get our bags?”

I purposely excuse the fact that there are about 100 signs with arrows and the words “BAGGAGE CLAIM” overhead and say, “oh sure, I come to this airport all the time, I’ll show you.” I was very recently out of a long relationship and not one to balk at a fairly lame, but slightly adorable pick-up line. We chatted all the way to baggage claim, waited for our bags and then before leaving he asked for my phone number.

One week later I was sitting in LAX waiting for a delayed Virgin American flight to SFO for new years and the guy sitting next to me in the terminal asks if there is anything good in the paper I was reading. We start talking and by the time we get on the plane he says, “What seat are you sitting in? I’m in 1B, I’ll text you.” It was at that moment that I learned why Virgin America was so popular among young, single travelers – seat-to-seat texting.

It then occurred to me that of the 3 flights I had taken in that one week period, I was 2 for 3 in guys asking for my number. That didn’t seem normal – certainly not for me. With one more flight to take that holiday, back to LA from SF, I was a little hopeful to ride the wave and go 3 for 4. Needless to say, I was disappointed (and a little “weirded” out) to find that seat-to-seat texting guy was on my flight back to LA too, which totally threw off my airplane average.

When I mentioned to friends that I went 2 for 4 on planes, potentially almost 3 for 4, they emphasized how unusual that was and asked me what I was doing to make that happen. In thinking about it, my theory is this:

If you are attractive, but not intimidatingly smoking hot, guys feel “safe” about approaching you. I refer to it as “approach-ably attractive”

Now, you might be thinking, “there are lots of attractive (but not super hot) girls out there that aren’t approachable.” Agreed. To take it one step further, girls need to appear somewhat inviting. Basically, If you appear like you’re ready to unload some serious negative energy, you’re likely not “approachable.”

So, that’s how this year began. I was single for the first time since my early twenties, I was looking forward to lot’s of “me” time and for whatever reason, I’m going 2 for 3 on planes. Go figure – the exact moment that I want no part in a relationship is the exact moment that I seem to be giving off a high-pitched vibe that only men in search of a relationship can hear. It’s an unusual situation, I think, and I’ve noticed that it’s giving me a new perspective on dating, which I hope you don’t mind me sharing.

…it would have been nice to go 3 for 4, though.