Blog? What blog?!

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
July 14, 2010

I’ve always known there is a limit to how long I can date someone without telling them about the blog. Since most daters come and go within 3-4 dates, I haven’t yet reached that limit. But I have pictured what I would say to someone and how I would ease them into it once I was ready to share this side of myself.


(sigh)…best-laid plans…


After posting Previously homeless, Red flag? I had a vivid dream that Hot Shy Guy (as I now refer to him) read the post, got pissed and outed to me by hacking into my blog and replacing my avatar on my home page with an actual picture of me.


Aside from hacking into my WordPress, it was a fairly valid concern, considering we were set up by mutual friends who follow me on Facebook.


The thought of hurting his feelings overwhelmed me and I spent the next few days analyzing the post and questioning friends about whether or not I should take it down.


Many girlfriends had the same gut-reaction as me.


“Take it down. If I were dating someone only to find out later that they were writing about me on a website, I would be pretty upset.” Even my brother suggested that I take it down.


But then I spoke with some friends who convinced me otherwise with some very wise-sounding statements:


“Your blog is an expression of you and you shouldn’t cater it to other people’s feelings. Plus it’s anonymous so no one knows who you’re writing about.”


“Changing it would mean altering yourself to make the guy you’re seeing happy. What kind of relationship are you starting if you change yourself at the first sign of trouble?”


“How he feels about your blog is his deal, not yours. He may be overly sensitive to it, or hate it, and never speak to you again, but that means that he is not going to embrace you for who you are. On the other hand, if he is worth your time, he will probably like the blog and like you more because of it.”


So I decided to stay true to the blog, my opinions and my writing and deal with the subsequent consequences. I left the post as it was. I even wrote another post about Hot Shy Guy. I mean…what were the chances that he knew about S.A.G. anyway?


As I learned on Sunday, the chances were pretty good.


OUT cover


According to Hot Shy Guy’s confession to me on Sunday, he had run across the blog before we’d been set-up (thanks a lot, Facebook suggestion-ads) and had read it a few times. Our mutual friend told him that I had a blog, but didn’t say what it was. Once we started hanging out, I guess he put 2-and-2 together since I recycle my own “material” on dates.


Once he read Previously homeless. Red flag? he decided not to read it again.


The surprising part was that he didn’t stop reading it because I falsely accused him of being homeless – although I’m pretty sure he didn’t like me more after reading that. He said that he understood the blog was my creative outlet and didn’t want me to stop writing. As such, he decided not to tell me and that it was only fair he stop reading.


I guess the secret was weighing on him and he came clean on Sunday. Still. He insists that he hasn’t been reading.


I know what you’re thinking. “Yeah riiiiiight.”


Considering that I still happen across my ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page for engagement announcements against my own will, I tend to agree with you.


So here we are. For the first time, I’m dating someone that knows about the blog. I’m in unfamiliar territory for sure, but I’m going to follow my wise-friend’s advice. The tough part about that is that I am officially taking ownership of this not-so-anonymous side project with the hope that this guy, and future potential daters, embrace it – along with me.


P.S. I’d just like to add (since he’s not reading this) that it drives me crazy that Hot Shy Guy has no windshield wiper fluid in his car. Seriously, how does he drive around with such a dirty windshield? Is he completely blind when he drives into the sun?


P.S.S. I’ll let you know how clean the windshield is next time I see him.





I’m not as psycho as that looked. Really.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
July 2, 2010

So I’ve gone out 5 or 6 times with a guy that I might (wait for it…) actually like. He’s smart, funny, successful and our mutual friends really like him – always a good sign.  He’s also a tad shy, which I’m finding endearing and, at times, hot even.


So, we were out on Monday night at a small-venue concert.  If you follow me on Twitter, you may remember this was the night I accidentally ate garlic for dinner and realized on my way to the date I was wearing the exact same outfit I had worn on our previous date. (Happily, he didn’t notice, or didn’t say anything…about the garlic breath or the repeat ensemble).


Throughout the night, he was showing off his new iPhone4 – taking HD videos, multitasking, etc. He’s trying to convince me not to get the HTC EVO, but we’ll see. Regardless, what I learned is that he is one of those guys who keeps the keypad locked on his phone. To me this says he is private, patient (unlike me who can never wait the 3 seconds to get to my home screen) and wants to avoid accidentally calling people from his pocket – again, smart.


Now, I typically turn away when someone is typing in a private password. But for some reason I made out which numbers he was typing. I really didn’t think anything of it at the time. Just a random, snooping accident.


So last night we were on our way back from dinner and I playfully grabbed the phone out of his hand – wanting to mess around with it. When the key-lock screen popped up I must have not been thinking clearly because I instinctively typed in the 4 numbers I had noticed on Monday night. As I pressed the 4th digit I thought to myself, “what….are….you….doing!!??” and then, to my horror, the home screen popped up.


I blurted out (again not thinking) “Oh my god.”


Hot Shy Guy: “What?” His gaze goes directly towards the iPhone, probably assuming I’ve f-ed it up (a fair guess).


S.A.G. (looking like a child caught stealing): “Ahhhh…I just typed in your password…by accident.”


Hot Shy Guy (confused look): “How?”


I then fumbled my way through the an explanation, but let me tell you, it doesn’t really matter what I said. I had successfully broken into the man’s iPhone4 on my first try. He has every right to go home and check his apartment for hidden cameras and evidence of spy software on his Macbook pro.


His response to my crazy stalker skills was a pleasant surprise: “That’s OK. I looked at all of your pictures on Facebook today.”


In his mind, we were even. What he doesn’t know is that I had also looked at all of his pictures on Facebook that day and such an act is not considered stalking, just normal Facebook behavior. But I kept that to myself and we went one with our date like nothing had happened.


Looks like I’ve dodged the psycho-girl bullet for now, but I better keep my apparent, super-spy-powers in check for a while.


iPhone Lock Screen


Previously homeless. Red flag?

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
June 27, 2010

I do not consider myself judgmental. I like pretty much everyone – with exception to people that purposely try to hurt me (fairly rare) or people with really limp handshakes (drives me nuts. I mean, seriously. Firm grip or bust.)


So it didn’t really occur to me to second-guess one of my current daters when he told me that he lived out of his car for 3 months a while back.


My initial instinct was to think “that’s strange and sounds horrific, but now he has a great job and lives in a 1-bedroom apartment…”


My girlfriend begs to differ.


“So he told you he was previously homeless on a first date?”


S.A.G.: “Well, it’s not like he slept on a bus-bench with a shopping cart, but he didn’t have an actual home, so I suppose you could put it that way.”


My girlfriend: “Was it some sort of social experiment? Did he do it on purpose to prove a point?”


S.A.G.: He didn’t put it that way. He just said matter-of-fact, ‘I lived in my car for 3 months when I first moved out here.’”


My girlfriend: “And that didn’t strike you as a tad odd that he didn’t have any friends with couches or family that would lend him money?”


S.A.G. “You make a decent point…”


My girlfriend: “Not sexy, my friend.”


My friend has me taking a second look at this dater, but I’m still not sure this is a deal-breaker. At least he isn’t trying to hide anything. Similar to the guy from “Let us pray,” he’s laying it out on the table during date #1 and letting me do what I will with the information.


Shouldn’t he be considered a success story? He started in Los Angeles with nothing but an old beat-up SUV (which he still drives despite his great job) and is now living the American Dream. I could see him on the Today Show with Matt Lauer explaining how he worked his way up from the streets of Santa Monica to what some would consider a dream job.


I mean Danny Bonaduce was homeless at one point.


Ok. Maybe not be the best example. But, according to facehomelessness.com, the following, now-successful people where once homeless: Jim Carrey, Kelly Clarkson, JeanPaul DeJoria, Hilary Swank, Shania Twain, Martin Sheen, Jewel, Kelsey Grammer, John Woo, William Shatner, Heather Mills, Daniel Craig, Lil’ Kim and Drew Carey.


So what do you think? Is previously-homeless guy endearing? Or should he be categorized under previously-dated?


Jim_Carrey_131