The Axe-ter Effect

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
May 12, 2010

[I wrote this on Monday]


I’ve been Axed.

I have spent the entire day at work reeking of Axe body spray and (don’t fall out of your chair when I tell you this) it’s the Greek Guy’s fault.

You see, I broke my own rule about making out on a first date, and honestly, I’ve been paying for it in the worst way.

I was out with the Greek Guy for early evening drinks, which turned into dinner, which turned into “authentic Greek wine tasting” at his apartment (I know….I know…).

Throughout the evening, I learned few details about this Greek guy. Some that I’m not so keen on, like the prominent gold chain. Some that are pretty awesome, like how he is related to just about every Greek restaurant owner in the Detroit Metro Area. And some that are hard to relate to, like how his 30-something sister still lives with his parents and will do so until she’s married.

And of course, he has that one Greek quality that is difficult to resist…the passionate kiss. It’s the kind of thing you don’t have to kiss him to know. It’s just apparent.

But I will admit, I was taken aback by the next detail, which I didn’t uncover it until today.

You see, despite the shenanigans (which can best be categorized as a middle school, clothes-on make-out) I got home around 10 PM and got a good night’s sleep. This morning, I did what I typically do on Monday mornings, I put my Sunday outfit back on and went to work.

As soon as I got into the car it hit me. My shirt smelled like it had been marinated in Axe body spray over night and then barbecued in a smoke pit at a luau. I figured it would tone down throughout the day, but I’m telling you, I’ve been plagued by this Axe smell all….day…..long…

This is what I get for getting too close to the Greek Guy? Well, of all the potentially negative side effects, at least this one washes off.

I probably would have looked past his Axe-habit, but after approximately 5,600 inhalations* of that fragranced aerosol male grooming product, I honestly don’t think I can hang out with him again. Seriously, I don’t know what another sniff would do to me.

You think I’m not giving him a chance? I dare you to endure the Axe-ter Effect for one-full day. Then you can judge me all you like.

*Calculation details: According to Wikipedia, we average roughly 700 breaths per hour, multiplied by an 8-hour work day