Taking a page from “The Bachelorette”

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
November 25, 2010

Ali and her men (scratch out Frank)

Ali and her men (scratch out Frank)

I’m not a huge fan of The Bachelor, but I never miss a season of The Bachelorette. I have two reasons for this:

1. It’s entertaining to watch grown men get insanely jealous when the girl they like goes out with other people. (Hi Kettle, I’m Pot. You’re black).

2. This show is a perfect example of a woman being forced to listen to my Grammy’s Dating Advice. By design, she is dating multiple guys at the same time before making the biggest decision of her life.

Let’s be real. adidas messi 2017 In real life, Ali would have met hot Roberto and immediately cancelled her dates with Frank and Chris because she would never want to potentially ruin an opportunity with the seemingly perfect, gorgeous, x-baseball player. Openly dating multiple guys at the same time (and accepting over-night dates with each one in Tahiti) is frowned upon in the real world.

But should it? Are we (ladies) setting ourselves up for failure by clinging to the best available option, shunning all other men and dating exclusively for years until we break down and get married? We might as well get married to these guys after the 4th date. Isn’t it the same thing?

That’s what I love about watching this show. Whether Ali likes it or not (and I tend to believe she does) she is forced to compare and contrast these guys over a total of 3 months to find the best fit for her. The only thing that is that this is a show. They are on camera 24/7 and the only “alone” time they ever have is in that overnight suite. Not the makings for a strong relationship (hello Vienna and Jake).

So maybe I should take a page from The Bachelorette and give this a shot in the real world.

I’ve been thinking about this over the past few days because I came home after work this week to find a CD tucked in the bars of my screen door with a note from Apartment B. louboutin homme The CD was of some music he’d been playing one night that I said sounded good on my way up the stairs. The card was his business card and on the back it said, “Call me or stop in anytime. Love to get a drink with you!”

The idea of dating someone in my apartment building brings up a whole new host of Melrose Place-type issues that we can get into another time.

For now, let’s dive into the fact that I am still hanging out with Hot Shy Guy (HSG) – even though I’ve halted writing about him, at the impassioned request of my more vocal readers. And while we have not talked about being exclusive, I do feel that he might be frustrated if I accept drinks with Apartment B.

That said, I also feel that at 29, I would be doing myself a disservice by dismissing other date requests just because I’ve passed the four-date-mark with HSG.

I think the best thing to do is to mention to HSG that it’s important to me that I don’t get too serious too fast, and then hope for the best. Oy. I’m such a dude.

So. A real life Bachelorette. adidas yeezy I’m sure I can handle it. I mean, I already successfully navigated a “Group Date” when I went 4 for 7 on Valentine’s Day.

You say dating, I say relationship…Tomato, Tomaaato

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
November 5, 2010

I’m going to need some help here. I’m trying to figure out what happens after date #2.

Take Confusing-Name Guy, for example. We had two great dates and while I was open to date #3, I got the feeling that he was looking for something of the more serious genre when he suggested that we go out on New Years Eve and sent a few intense text messages.

I did accept a 3rd date (just not on NYE) and I purposely backed-off a bit because clearly I had been too charming on dates 1 and 2 (it happens ;-) ).

After the date he called me as I was driving home and asked if something was wrong. He said he could sense that maybe I wasn’t as “into it” anymore. After coming to terms with the fact that I was about to have a “talk” after only 3 dates, I pulled over my car and I told him that maybe I “freaked out” because I’m not feeling ready for a relationship, but I get the impression that he is.

He sounded relieved as he responded and said, “I think it is a good sign that you’re freaked out, but we can totally dial it back…maybe we can just date monogamously and not worry about getting any more serious right now.”

…I get the feeling that we’re having a slight communication breakdown. adidas homme I’m picturing a dating scenario where we hang out until it’s clear that we’re right for each other or until it’s clearly not fun anymore, and he is looking for an exclusive dating relationship after a grand total of 9 hours of dating. Is my long-term dating request totally off base?

I asked my boy neighbor this question and apparently it is. He says that “if you’re really into someone” you will start seriously dating them after 2 or 3 dates. If you’re not, you will stop seeing each other and move on. adidas superstar soldes I am determined to prove him wrong, but so far I have not been on more than 3 dates with the same guy – so maybe he is right.

This takes us back to Grammy’s Dating Rule where apparently (in her day) you weren’t tied down to one guy until he popped the question and you had the ring on your finger. You actually had time to get-to-know someone before becoming exclusive. I realize I’m not going to be able to swing her exact rule in 2010 (maybe a quick stop in Tiffany on date #4??), but I’m going to see how close I can get.

Grammy’s Dating Rule

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 3, 2009

My 91-year-old grandma thinks that we have all got it wrong when it comes to dating. Air Jordan XX9 Apparently, when she was “playing the field” there was no such thing as dating exclusively. air jordan future achat As a young single person, it was essentially open season until a boy proposed. ray ban wayfarer bleu mat pas cher The engagement was the exclusive phase of dating, which would ultimately lead to marriage, or not. new balance 999 As a single person in 2009, this is a fascinating concept.

Grammy says that we are so silly for getting so serious so soon with these men (ok, boys). chaussures nike air max How can we expect ourselves to be discriminative in choosing a boyfriend, and potential husband, when we’re jumping into serious relationships with the first enjoyable guy that comes along and reciprocates our feelings? Man, Grammy is wise. Nike Femme I mean, if I had taken a truly partisan look at my last boyfriend before getting serious, would he really have been the one I chose?

While Grammy’s dating rule is undeniably brilliant, I’m not sure that society will allow me to play the field the way that she had. kobe Can you imagine the look on a guy’s face when I tell him that I’m not going to stop dating other guys until he puts a diamond ring on my finger? Darn you De Beers! Grammy’s philosophy worked a little better before getting engaged involved tens of thousands of dollars.

While I’m still contemplating how to make this plan a reality, there is one dating insight that she got me thinking about…

You see, when I’m interacting with boys and the situation is just friendly with no relationship pressure, I can be personable, fun, carefree, and even witty – on a good day. Nike Pour Homme But as soon as the situation gets more complicated (i.e. Nike Roshe Run soldes this could potentially be going somewhere more than friends) I change. new balance noir A switch flips and all of a sudden I’m awkward, unnecessarily chatty and even a little sweaty.