Uh oh. Simmer Down, S.A.G.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
November 20, 2010

Since ending the sabbatical, I’ve been stood up by Mustache #2, I lost a Friday night to the Friday Night Thief and I revisited a previous dater (I didn’t write about it, but let’s just say, 3rd time was not a charm with Friend Zone Guy).


That said, it shouldn’t be a complete shock that I’m actually excited about tonight’s blind date.


Now, when I say “blind date” what I really mean is a friend from work set us up and forwarded me his Facebook page. mu legend zen Therefore, what I am not blind to is that he is tall, good looking, has a great education and makes photo videos to good music of his travels abroad. mu legend zen for sale He also appears to play in a band that could border on hokey – which, if you know me, is a big plus – and he has been very nice and mildly funny in his emails.


Here’s the problem…


So far today, I giggled out loud at his email confirming the time and place for the date, I smiled to myself while walking through the office and I even had a daydream about him contacting our mutual friend for the office address and sending me flowers tomorrow.


I know…barf.


….I know.


I have absolutely NO idea if I’m going to like this guy tonight and even less of an idea if he’s going to like me, so what’s the deal?


I’m guessing that the reason for this is similar to the reason I got all excited about white rapper #2 – a younger guy with no job living in his parent’s NY basement…


I’ve been accidentally abstinent for too long. adidas zx 850 It’s a fact of single life and I blame the following people:


Friday-Night Thief

Mustache #1

Mustache #2

TMI Dan, Confusing-Name Guy

Mario the Masseur

the guy who told me that I ate a lot on our date

Laurie (the texter that turned out to be a girl)

“Let us pray” Guy

Twice-Engaged Guy

Soft-Core Porn Guy

Friend Zone Guy

Waiter-friend Guy

Pretentious Side-Note Guy

B-Looking Girl Guy

LA Guy


They are all responsible for my current situation.


Not quite sure what we’re going to do about the over-arching problem, but I DO know that between now and 8 PM tonight I need to simmer down.


eHarmony – Top 5 Profile Pics to Look Out For

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
December 15, 2009

So I’ve been keeping up with the eHarmony deal to see what it’s all about. I haven’t actually met up with anyone yet, but I’ve made it to “open communication” with this one guy and if I’m reading his witty banter correctly, he’s going to ask me to meet up in the next 2-3 days. I guess we’ll see if my dating ESP translates to eHarmony.


And BTW – I mentioned in my previous post that I’d been matched up with a co-worker and a friend of my x-boyfriend…well it happened again, but this time it was an x-dater, Friend-Zone Guy! Honestly…


So I’ve been keeping notes as I go and will share my findings with you. Today, let’s focus on profile picture selection. The following are the top five profile pics to look out for:


5. In a winery. A number of the guys I’ve been matched with have pictures of themselves, standing between rows of wine barrels. I’ve thought about it more than I probably should, and I think what this comes down to is that guys don’t have many pictures to chose from – shocking I know. Well, it’s not like every group of boys has a token “camera nazi” guy that sends around pictures from the day before via Picasa. So when a single guy is looking for pictures of himself, he’s choosing from pictures with his immediate family (not likely a first-pick) and pictures that his x-girlfriend took of him while on their trip to Santa Barbara wine country. Makes complete sense…”Here honey, go stand by the barrels to show how big they are.”


4. Wearing sunglasses in the one picture posted. What’s the deal? glass eye? If the eyes are the windows to the soul, I would be concerned about a guy that’s not willing to show them off.


3. Holding what looks like a black cat in a picture with the following caption: “I found this baby Chupacabra in the bushes in the Dominican Republic.” OK – maybe that is awesome? I’m torn.


2. The self-portrait iPhone pic in front of a mirror. I’m sure this goes back to what I was saying in #5, but I mean – you really have NO other pictures? No friend to take a photo? No cheek-to-cheek picture with an x-girlfriend that you can crop her out of? (which almost made the list, btw, but it’s still a step up from the mirror shot). These pictures just always seem so lonely – especially the one I came across where the guy is standing in front of the mirror in jeans and no shirt. Word to the wise – girls can tell when your flexing.


1. Questionable looking facial sore. Now, I’m not one to judge facial imperfections (especially after what I went through with the acne toucher), but all I’m saying is, you should probably avoid posting a picture of yourself on eHarmony with what could be mistaken for as herpes of the mouth. Even if it’s the best picture you’ve ever taken and it really shows your hilarious personality, at least touch it out of the picture…iPhoto must have an app for that.




The Friend Zone, Part II

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
August 9, 2009

I was definitely surprised when I received a call from Friend Zone Guy. I was doubly surprised to hear what he had to say after I answered it:



He apologized for not calling for so long and said “you must think I’m a dick for not calling after you said you wanted to be friends.”

Me: “No. I would have understood if I never heard from you again. I get it.”

Friend Zone Guy: “Well, I just want you to know that I’m totally fine with us being friends. I promise I won’t try to hook up with you…but, if we have sex someday, so be it.
(I didn’t know how to react either)

He continued: “By the way, I’m on my way home from a date right now and it was so boring. Wanna hang out?”

If I could make this stuff, I would. If I were a lesser person I would keep Friend-Zone Guy around soley for the blog fodder…hmmm.

The Friend Zone

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
August 3, 2009

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I struggle with telling someone that it’s not working out. My friends (both girls and guys) make it sound so easy; “just don’t call/text him back,” “be honest and tell him you don’t see it going anywhere.” Well, as we learned with The Texter, the former doesn’t necessarily work. Let’s take a stab at the latter.


I was seeing this guy and after a few decent dates, we were hanging out and watching TV and he kissed me. I allowed it to continue while I pondered what I was going to say. Now, I’m not saying that this was a light-bulb-over-the-head moment, but here’s how it went…


I stopped him and (fairly awkwardly) told him that for some reason, in my mind, he was in “the friend zone.” I told him that I couldn’t put a finger on why…I just knew it was how I felt.


It was honest, well intentioned and straight to the point. Success? Not quite sure…


After telling me that he understood, there was a fair amount of silence and then he unexpectedly lunged at me with an overly passionate kiss – which I’m guessing was an attempt at literally climbing out of the figurative friend zone.


I stopped him and suggested that maybe I should call him a cab. Apparently, he had interpreted my rejection as some sort of dating challenge(?). I was very confused. Even more so when he attempted the same lunge move two more times before the cab arrived.


The search for an effective, but kind, brush-off continues…