On my own agai…

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
November 9, 2010

Sad Fridge


This is what my fridge looks like right now. If you’re having trouble seeing, it is occupied only by my Brita water filter, Earth Balance vegan butter and an expired Fage yogurt which I haven’t’ thrown out because I don’t want it to smell up my kitchen.


Yes, I realize I can just take the trash out and that vegan butter and Greek yogurt are an icebox oxymoron, but that’s not where I’m going with this.


I took this picture a few days ago and titled it “sad fridge” on my desktop. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with the image, but it struck me…


(time out)


I started writing this post around 8 PM tonight at the Coffee Bean by my house. My plan was to write about how slow my dating life has been since bouncing Ex-Coworker Guy and Hot Shy Guy from my dance card. And, I hadn’t quite figured out how, but I was going to weave my pathetically empty fridge into the post as a symbol of my fresh start.


Apparently, I didn’t get very far because I was interrupted by a guy that I had offered my second chair to. I’d been using it as a stool for my legs, but realized it was probably selfish of me to take up two seats by the computer-melting fire pit on such a cool night.


So I offered my foot stool to a guy wearing a United States Navy sweatshirt – catapulting my gesture from thoughtful to patriotic. He was very nice and eager to chat, so I closed my laptop and learned that Navy Guy is also a Gemini and had just jogged 13 miles on the sand with a weight vest on. Very intense. After about five minutes of niceties, he got up to leave and asked for my number. I gave him my card, which felt cooler than reciting my phone number in front of all the coffee drinkers typing around the fire.


I didn’t think too much of the exchange and went back to writing the post. I was actually a bit relieved that he had left because there was a guy sitting in the next seat over that I was more interested in sharing my second chair with.


Riding a confidence wave from Navy Guy, I decided to take things into my own hands. I stood up and asked Next Seat Over Guy if he would mind watching my computer while I refilled my tea with more hot water. I thanked him when I got back and he replied by smiling and saying, “No problem, it wasn’t hard.”


I didn’t hear him correctly over the fire pit and said, “You like it hot? That’s funny. I just said that exact phrase to the guy that filled up my tea.”


He looked at me like I was crazy, yes, but during the explanation of the misunderstanding I somehow convinced him to scoot his chair closer to mine. We started chatting and the next thing you know it’s 10:50 and the barista is telling us it’s last call for coffee/tea.


As we started walking away from the fire, Next Seat Over Guy asked that we exchange numbers and this time I did so with a more of a bounce in my step.


As I walked home I felt a bit disappointed that I hadn’t finished my original blog post – my one goal for the night. Then it hit me that I had set out to write about my sad, empty fridge (aka non-existent dating life) and came home with two new potential daters. Not too shabby for a $1.95 hot tea and two hours at the Bean.


Next stop, Trader Joe’s.




Unsolicited flower delivery! From…

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 19, 2010

On Friday, I came back to work from lunch to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my desk.


I took a moment of pause because in all my years of working I have never received unsolicited flowers. In fact, the two times I’ve received flowers were when I had a death in the family and when my now ex-boyfriend reluctantly sent me carnations in a wicker basket after I told him to send me flowers (he had really messed up). (btw – the carnations didn’t help his cause).


So there I was at a major moment in my career (dating and work) looking at these gorgeous long-stemmed flowers…


Flowers


As I picked up the card my mind immediately went to Ex-Coworker Guy. In all fairness, flowers after two dodged kisses might just be his style. Of course, that would make me an even bigger a-hole for writing my last post.


The only other person I’ve even been hanging out with recently is Hot Shy Guy and I was fairly certain they could not be from him - especially since I had, unfortunately, called it quits with him 4 days earlier.


I haven’t written about HSG since I learned he knew about the blog, so allow me to bring you back into the fold with a little background…

 

The decision to have “the talk’ with HSG was really difficult. He has an amazing heart and I really like him on all the most basic levels, but I had to admit to myself that we weren’t progressing toward a relationship – and likely wouldn’t in the near future.

 

When it came time to actually tell him, I danced around the truth for a while until he finally forced me to say, “I don’t think we should hang out anymore.” It was really hard to admit. For the first time in a very long time, I felt heartbroken. I cried.


(Cut back to the flowers)


Who sent them? Overwhelmingly thoughful Ex-Coworker Guy? Recently released Hot Shy Guy? Or (worst case) my mother? (Ha. As much as I love you, mom, that wouldn’t be very blog-worthy)


Sorry – this is serious.


I opened the card…


Hi [S.A.G.],

 

I just wanted to say that I would be really lucky to be friends with you. I didn’t want you to cry on the phone, or now, but I’d be excited to continue the friendship.

 

- [HSG]

 

I was speechless. This was the first tangible token of affection from HSG and and it was perfect.


Four days later and the flowers are still as beautiful as ever and my heart aches a little when I look at them. My coworkers keep asking me, “Are you sure you made the right decision?”


At least for the near future, I know I did. Sometimes people come into our lives and we’re not quite sure what do to with them. We know they are important and we want them to fit a defined role, but it’s simply not taking.


I don’t know if HSG and I will remain friends, but I sure hope so. I’ve never heard of a boy sending “let’s be friends” flowers after a break-up, but I can only imagine that’s the kind of boy you want in your life.




…Apparently I am. Dating coupon backlash.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 17, 2010

I have to admit I was a bit relieved when I read the reader’s comments to my most recent post about Ex-Coworker Guy. It was good to see that I wasn’t the only person feeling awkward about dating the most considerate guy on the planet.


You see, despite my girlfriend’s relentless opinions that a dating coupon is totally adorable and sweet, there was something about it, coupled with the 3rd-date gift, that made me incredibly uncomfortable (even though I know he didn’t intend to make me feel that way). I’ve deduced a few reasons for this:


1. Too much too soon. While you want your guy to be thoughtful and full of surprises, it can come off insincere when he’s doing it on dates 1, 2, 3, & 4. As a married guy at work told me after I shared the dating coupon with the entire executive team (horrible, I know), “You want your guy to have a bit of an edge.” So true, married guy, so true.


2. I assume he meant the dating coupon as a joke, but it wasn’t completely clear. Yes, one of the date suggestions on the coupon was a “Unicorn back ride,” but overall, the coupon itself was not completely over-the-top.  It had serious dating suggestions as well and his phone number as the RSVP.


3. This guy works in a highly creative industry, so I guess I was expecting greater production value. I realize that sounds super crazy, but when I saw an attachment titled, “invite” I anticipated a well-art-directed, hilariously ironic invitation. Something about the red marker on white printer paper and hugs and kisses symbols in each corner gave me a sort of creepster vibe. See what I mean?


evite-snippet

Man - I'm a jerk for posting this.


4. And the actual reason: I’m just not into him enough to swoon over a dating coupon. I’ve been told that if I really liked him, I would love the dating coupon angle. I suppose the fact that I chose to ask him to hang a mirror on my wall at 2 AM over making out with him was a pretty good indication of our lack of chemistry.


Since I’d received an overwhelming response from lady-friends to “stop being such a boy” and give him one more shot, I decided to redeem the coupon and feel it out. Maybe once I see him in person all this uncomfortableness will fade away?


When I got to the bar he looked up and said, “The unicorns are tied up outside.”


…maybe not.


I spent the rest of the night giving off uninterested signs. You know, the mature way to avoid having to actually tell him to his face that I was over it. I paid for dinner, I didn’t reply to his comments about restaurants we should try and I dodged two kisses at the end of the night – it was all very duck and cover.


Pretty sure that he got the message. I mean, he did text me this week, but unless I get a singing telegram I’m going to assume the dating portion of this situation is over.




Am I too selfish for this guy? Heather, don’t answer that.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 6, 2010

When I was a freshman in high school, 2nd Chair Sax and I gave each other thoughtful gifts every singe month on our anniversary. Picture frames, symbolic movies, you name it. And each gift was accompanied by a lovely and emotional letter. asics soldes That’s one considerate gift every 30 days. Mind you, over a decade later I’m lucky if I remember to pay my bills every 30 days, but whatever…


With my college, long-distance boyfriend, we were not so “on schedule” with sentimental symbols of our relationship, but we did have picture boxes full of memories, well-thought-out holiday/birthday gifts and matching cowboy hats that we would wear when we traveled to see each other.


I’m not sure if it has to do with getting older or my most recent boyfriend – who bought me a sit-up ball and weights on my birthday and sent me flowers (AKA carnations) one time in 3.5 years – but I seem to have lost my thoughtful dating instincts.


Since I’ve been dating in Los Angeles, this hasn’t really been an issue – as you’ve read. asics shoes But thanks to Ex-Coworker Guy, I’m suddenly feeling very self-conscious about how selfish I am in dating – no thanks to my readers, I might add.


When I shared the story about this most recent dater smuggling soy white-russians into our bowling date, the responses were unanimous that this is the one of the best guys I’ve dated so far. Reader Heather went on and on about it and then followed it up with, “…Keep us posted and remember to treat him with equal thoughtfulness.”


Is she assuming that I won’t?


The funny thing is, I hadn’t really thought about not being thoughtful enough to him until I read her comment. But then I remembered back to a comment that Rose had posted a month ago when I told Hot Shy Guy how I felt about his apartment. She replied, “S.A.G, I always admired your honesty. But I think you might have put it a little mildly, instead of slapping it on his face…


Hmmmm. ugg mens boots Maybe I’m not a very thoughtful dater…?


On our 3rd date, Ex-Coworker Guy took me to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl and really started to make me feel inadequate. air jordan 1 He planned everything out. He packed a picnic that met both of our eating restriction requirements, pre-sliced limes for our Coronas and called days in advance to pre-book a parking spot in Lot A (which is probably more convenient than Valet).


I’m going to type that again in case you didn’t catch it…


He called days in advance to pre-book a parking spot in Lot A. If you’ve ever schlepped up Highland with coolers and blankets to get to a concert at the bowl you will appreciate Ex-Coworker Guy’s efforts. (Here’s a map if you need more convincing)


parkingvalet_map



Then, after the concert, as I was getting out of his car he said, “Oh wait, I have something for you.”


He reached into the backseat and pulled out a book originally published in 1934 titled, Becoming a Writer. asics gel lyte 3 I had mentioned to him on our first date that I like to write and told him a couple of ideas I had for screenplays. He said that I have good ideas and this book will help get them out. lunette de soleil Inside the book was a burned CD of the band we had just seen at the concert.


Well shit. Nike Air Max 90 Baskets Now the pressure is really on for me to “treat him with equal thoughtfulness.” I can’t let Heather down!


So on our 4th date, we went out to dinner and drinks and then he walked me up to my door. ray ban promo code 2014 I’m sure this is the point when I’m supposed to “return the selflessness” by way of a kiss, but if you are a frequent reader of this blog, you will know that I tend to flounder under pressure.


In an effort to avoid the awkwardness, I diverted his attention by giving him a tour of my apartment. In doing so, I pointed out a mirror that has been sitting on the floor since the Pink Truck moved me in back in February and I mentioned that I really wanted to hang it up.


The next thing I know I have my tool kit and laser level out and he’s hammering nails into the wall. Air Jordan 29 Did I mention is was 2 AM?


At this point, I’m a tad conflicted.


On one hand, I accidentally encouraged my overly-attentive dater to do manual labor in the middle of the night – not at all living up to soy-white Russians and vintage books.


On the other hand, the mirror is finally up and I have officially settled in to my new-ish apartment. (Hmmm…I see how selfish that sounds when I say/type it outloud)


I’m sure I’ll think of something kind and selfless to do for Ex-Coworker Guy…I’m sure I will.


…Oh damn. He just emailed me a date coupon for “An Evening of Romance and Laughter” that is “good for any night this weekend.”


If you’re counting, that’s 6 for Ex-Coworker Guy, negative 2 for Single. nike air max 2017 soldes Approachable.


Oh, you’re good.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
September 25, 2010

Since I have a fairly strict policy about not dating guys at work, I was anxious to see if a work-crush would ask me out now that I switched jobs. I was also nervous for a non-crush to ask me out. “I don’t date people I work with” is a great excuse…that is until you leave your job.


Happily, a crush came through on my last day. He came over to my desk and asked for my contact info. We joked about how I was not going to send a going-away email to the entire agency, because those emails often come-off a tad lame. Later that afternoon he sent an email (just to me) addressed to the agency about losing a amazing co-worker. (this guy must be good).


He then texted me on my first day at my new job. It said, “Just a heads-up. I’m going to be contacting once you’ve settled in this week and I’ll be asking you to hang out.” (yeah…he’s good). This spawned a random, but humorous texting chain revolving around illegal cock-fighting rings. (I have no explanation for that).


True to his text, Ex-Coworker Guy asked me out for that weekend. We met up a local bar to play darts and drink beers. I was the jerk that showed up 20-minutes late because I was finishing Make Out or Hold Out?


I apologized for being such an a-hole and immediately asked what he did that day to take the attention off my tardiness.


Ex-Coworker Guy: “Oh, not much. I just took my little brother to the aquarium.”


S.A.G: “Is this a real little brother? or a ‘little brother’ from Big Brothers Big Sisters?”


Ex-Coworker Guy: “From the Big Brother program.”


S.A.G: “Wow. You are impressive.”


Ex-Coworker Guy: “It’s just something I’ve always wanted to do and I was finally able to commit to it.”


S.A.G.: “Well, it is really great that you’re a Big Brother. But what I’m most impressed with is how you dropped that nugget of information within the first three minutes of the 1st date. I mean…you’re good.”


(I then laughed so he would know I was joking and waited from him to laugh too – confirming that I wasn’t the biggest jerk in the world).


Ex-Coworker Guy turned red and then laughed (thank God). “Unfortunately, I’m not that smooth. Ha ha.”


(I beg to differ. Keep reading and you will agree with me)


We stayed at the bar for 5 beers and some competitive dart games and then decided it would be completely irresponsible not to eat some food. Since not much is open at 10 PM on a Sunday night, we went to this pizza place close by that custom makes New York and Chicago style pizzas. Being lactose intolerant, this is the only place I go for Pizza because I can ask for no cheese.


I broke the news to Ex-Coworker Guy about my no-cheese policy and asked if he would be cool with a no-cheese pizza. Turns out, he can’t have tomato sauce. Our pizza looked rather interesting: 1/2 no cheese, extra sauce and 1/2 no sauce, extra cheese. We were quite the pair.


On our 2nd date we went bowling – a natural progression from a darts date. He called ahead to reserve the lane, which I liked. It was reminiscent of Confusing-Name Guy’s successfully-planned date.


When I got there he whispered in my ear that he sneaked in White Russians. While I always appreciate a good Big Lebowski reference (i.e. “that rug really tied the room together”), I reminded him that I’m lactose intolerant – daters always forget this about me.


Ex-Coworker Guy: “No it’s cool, They’re soy.”


Wow. Did not see that coming. Agree with me now?


BTW – they were delicious.


the-dude1