Since ending the sabbatical, I’ve been stood up by Mustache #2, I lost a Friday night to the Friday Night Thief and I revisited a previous dater (I didn’t write about it, but let’s just say, 3rd time was not a charm with Friend Zone Guy).

That said, it shouldn’t be a complete shock that I’m actually excited about tonight’s blind date.

Now, when I say “blind date” what I really mean is a friend from work set us up and forwarded me his Facebook page. Therefore, what I am not blind to is that he is tall, good looking, has a great education and makes photo videos to good music of his travels abroad. He also appears to play in a band that could border on hokey – which, if you know me, is a big plus – and he has been very nice and mildly funny in his emails.

Here’s the problem…

So far today, I giggled out loud at his email confirming the time and place for the date, I smiled to myself while walking through the office and I even had a daydream about him contacting our mutual friend for the office address and sending me flowers tomorrow.

I know…barf.

….I know.

I have absolutely NO idea if I’m going to like this guy tonight and even less of an idea if he’s going to like me, so what’s the deal?

I’m guessing that the reason for this is similar to the reason I got all excited about white rapper #2 – a younger guy with no job living in his parent’s NY basement…

I’ve been accidentally abstinent for too long. It’s a fact of single life and I blame the following people:

Friday-Night Thief

Mustache #1

Mustache #2

TMI Dan, Confusing-Name Guy

Mario the Masseur

the guy who told me that I ate a lot on our date

Laurie (the texter that turned out to be a girl)

“Let us pray” Guy

Twice-Engaged Guy

Soft-Core Porn Guy

Friend Zone Guy

Waiter-friend Guy

Pretentious Side-Note Guy

B-Looking Girl Guy

LA Guy

They are all responsible for my current situation.

Not quite sure what we’re going to do about the over-arching problem, but I DO know that between now and 8 PM tonight I need to simmer down. I don’t want to turn this poor guy into someone he’s not, and I don’t want to attack him if it turns out that he is.

I’m just going to keep telling myself: He’s better looking in his picture…his band is his life…he spends every Saturday night with his friends…he’s actually 5′6″ and posts pictures of himself with his 5′2″ friends…

Anything else?? Come on friends, help a sista out.

I’m guessing a picture like this isn’t going to help me, but you’re welcome anyway.

You decide:

I recently went out with a guy and while date #1 had it’s fair share of red flags, it took date #2 to show me the light.

First Date Red Flags:
#1: He chose a dinner location around the corner from his house and a good 10 miles from mine.

#2: The inner thigh of my jeans ripped while exiting my car at the restaurant valet – I believe the universe was raising a red flag for me. (Side note: A woman walked in on me while I was taking this picture – leg up on the sink – in the restaurant bathroom. It only showcases 1/2 of the rip).

#3: During dinner, he reached across the table, pointed to and physically touched a zit I had covered up on my forehead and asked if it was a scar. I mean…not only did he notice it, he made mention of it and forced me to admit to my B-looking girl, adult acne on a first date.

#4: He surprise kissed me 3 times, to which I would unconsciously and uncomfortably react with an “oh dear” just before he kissed me.

#5: At 11 PM on this Monday night date, he asked me if I wanted come over to his house and to watch this random independent film where the leading lady shares my first name.

After all of that, I still accepted date #2 to go see that independent film at a once-a-month-showing in a theater. I figured it would be a cultural experience and could avoid any more invitations to go to his house to watch it.

Little did I know that it would be a midnight showing of “one of the worst films ever made” (according to Wikipedia) at a theater 20 miles away from my house. Not only did this film have a following of obnoxious people who waited in line for 2 hours to get a good seat and insisted on yelling throughout the screening, it was essentially a soft-core porn, cast with unattractive people. I wanted to leave the instant it started. How could he fail to mention the numerous poorly-shot naked sex scenes when “selling me” on the date?

In hindsight, I should have simply left, but at the time I felt trapped and so…since it was 1 AM and I was in a dark room looking for an escape from the experience, I allowed myself to fall asleep. Still think it was wrong?

You do? Well, what if I told you that he has seen the movie over 15 times, owns the DVD, has been to the midnight screening two other times and has a picture of himself with the director on his cell phone?

…I thought so.

I recently met up with a good guy friend of mine. You gotta love him, and the fact that he always dates really hot, very put-together girls. Especially when throughout the dinner he was venting on how frustrating it is that his girlfriend of two years is so high-maintenance.

“She’s never appreciative” – he said. “It’s never enough” – he said.

He then continued to say…

“I should really date someone more like you. Someone from the mid-west…a girl who can do her hair in 10 minutes…I mean – I would date a B-looking girl. I would even date a C-looking girl.”

Three things:

1. That day it had taken me 15 minutes to do my hair.

2. Without meaning to, he validated the title of my blog.

3. While I know he meant it as a compliment, his comment got me thinking. I hope that he never dates a B or C-looking girl. Isn’t the whole point of dating someone the fact that they are an A in your eyes? He just may have to deal with the fact that his A-looking girl expects lavish trips, gifts and events. (insert sly smiley-face)