Get out of my way, S.A.G.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
February 4, 2012

In my “Sorry S…” post, I asked you to guess who knocked-off the “S” in S.A.G. I then revealed it was Hot Shy Guy. As I thought about how to share the story, I realized I should not give him all the credit.  I mean, you’re great and all HSG, but here’s how it really happened…

It was the Sunday before Labor Day and I was flying back to LA after attending a friend’s wedding. I was reading a magazine article about how women have a tendency to turn guys away too soon, for lame reasons, etc., and ultimately miss out on the “diamond in the rough.” I couldn’t help but think of HSG. Yes, I dated him for many months, but did I dismiss him for the wrong reasons?

It had been almost a year since I ended it. At the time, I thought it was best. As I put in the post

The decision to have “the talk’ with HSG was really difficult. He has an amazing heart and I really like him on all the most basic levels, but I had to admit to myself that we weren’t progressing toward a relationship – and likely wouldn’t in the near future.


When it came time to actually tell him, I danced around the truth for a while until he finally forced me to say, �����I don’t think we should hang out anymore.��� It was really hard to admit. For the first time in a very long time, I felt heartbroken. I cried.

This plane trip wasn’t the first time I had thought about HSG. This is going to sound random, but whenever I hang out with my newborn nephew, he stares at me with this confused look (like, “they left me with you? Really?) and it always reminds me of this look HSG used to give me when we were dating (”are you for real?”).

As the plane touched down, I turned on my phone and it populated with the missed messages/emails. One was a text message from the girl who had originally set us up. She said she had seen HSG at a party that day and she had this feeling that we should hang out again. She invited me to meet up with her/him for drinks that night. The coincidence was too strange to say no and per usual, I was intrigued by HSG.

When HSG showed up I noticed some changes. New hair cut, different clothes, new car, job promotion – the list goes on. Sure all those surface changes were attractive, but it was his confident, yet genuine nature that attracted me most. I’m sure he was a tad cautious of me since I had broken it off before, but when that came up he joked, “I’ve decided you can break up with me 5 times. But that’s where I draw the line.”

Hanging out with HSG felt very right – right away. But we didn’t get serious right away. We were both careful about pulling that trigger. I didn’t think I could get through another “talk” with HSG, regardless of who would be delivering the bad news. I almost talked myself out of dating him a couple times. I was scared.

Then one day he asked if we were exclusive. I said no.

HSG: How do we know when we’re exclusive? Should one of us say something?

S.A.G.: Yes. You should ask me to be exclusive. :)

So he did…

…and I told him I would get back to him in 24 hours. I already knew what I wanted to say, but I was hesitant.

(”S” was digging her claws into me and saying, “don’t let me go!!!!!”)

He agreed, but did clarify that if we didn’t go exclusive, we would not hang out any more. That’s fair.

15 minutes later as I drove home, it hit me. Of course I should say yes. I had never given HSG “my all” and until I did that, I would always wonder about him. I had everything to gain and nothing to lose.

The next night I accepted exclusivity and something crazy happened. The very moment I told him, I felt my “guard” crumble to the floor. I always figured I was an open, welcoming dater. A single, independent girl who wasn’t looking, but was open to the idea of a boyfriend. Apparently not. Apparently I had this invisible wall up that I didn’t even know about.

After that moment, my perspective changed – on HSG, our relationship and my priorities. Now, I’m all in and it’s awesome.

Turns out, I’m the one who kicked the “S” to the curb. I just had to get out of my own way.


7 Responses to “Get out of my way, S.A.G.”

  1. Amy Says:

    Thanks for sharing all this – I will miss your funny dating stories, but it sounds like you have really opened your heart, and are in an exciting new stage of life. Feel free to write about funny “no longer single but in an exclusive relationship” stories, though. ;)

  2. lifebeginsat30ty Says:

    Maybe what we really need is someone we WANT to break down the wall for ;) That’s my theory! I’m very glad you gave him another chance, and that he gave you one too :)

  3. Kristen Says:

    I think you should continue with this blog! You may no longer be single, but there are still a lot of new relationship things you can write about… I mean, being single is tough, but being in a relationship is tough too!

  4. Rose Says:

    SAG ! I am soo happy for you ! HSG sounds kool ! Plz write about your valentines feb 14th story n how he took the booking to Mexico . :-)

  5. rhyojan Says:

    hope i can meet a girl like youhehe love it..

  6. Angela Says:

    So, what happened then? Are you still together?

  7. Single. Approachable. Girl. Says:

    Yep! Still going strong! Sometimes you can find updates at