OK. Now I’m offended.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 4, 2011

I met up with one of the guys from my “Never Say No” post and he reminded me why many girls “Say No.”

We met at Sunday brunch – the easiest possible date for me. I almost always go to brunch so a brunch date doesn’t take me out of my normal routine. Also, brunch dates are easy to extend – go for a walk – and easy to cut short – eat fast.

Going into the date, I remember thinking he would be a brunch-only kind of a guy. I had met him at a pool party in Palm Springs a couple of weeks earlier and did not have ANY inclination that he would ask me out when he got my number to follow-up on a job lead I had for him. For me it was all business – a tough thing to say when you’re wearing a two-piece, I admit.

He was already sitting at a table when I arrived. There he was. Almost 40, sitting on the shady side of the table, sporting wire-frame sunglasses and a green, beat-up visor with “Hawaii” embroidered on the front.

I’m not going to judge. He’s almost a decade older than me. His sense of style is from a different generation. He probably has a pair of Dr. Martens leather man-dals in the back of his closet. In case you forgot…they are glorious (and apparently still available for purchase).

Dr Martens

I continued to survey the scene and saw a small notebook/journal on the table titled, “Ideas.” (OK. Maybe a little judgment is in order).

When I sat down he said, “So…what have you been up to since I last saw you?….practically naked…”

S.A.G.: Really? Classy…

Jackass: I’m just saying. You were practically naked when we last saw each other.

S.A.G.: I get it. Are you going to eat?

He ordered a muffin. I ordered an omelet with wheat toast and a bloody mary.

The rest of the brunch consisted of him telling me about his recent work trip to Hawaii (btw – that does not excuses the visor) and how he “really should have gotten into advertising.”

Jackass: I always have ideas for great jingles and taglines. You know, the best ads are beer ads and I am always thinking of great beer ads.

S.A.G.: Hence the need for an “Ideas” notebook.

At one point, I asked him if he would be cool with moving tables. As I mentioned, he took the shady side of the table and I was staring into the sun; sans visor, sans Oakleys.

Jackass: I would tell you to take off your sweater, (he stares at my chest) but I can’t tell if you’re wearing anything under it.

S.A.G.: I am. And I’m not taking it off.

Jackass: OK. Well, I’ll be right back. Going to run to the little boys room.

He was gone for a good 10 minutes.

I paid the bill and never looked back.

6 Responses to “OK. Now I’m offended.”

  1. Blain Says:

    Never cease to amaze S.A.G.

  2. LJ Maggie Says:

    Its never seizes to amaze me what guys think works. Some of them are so offensive it is no wonder why they are still single.

  3. Whitney Says:

    Oh crap, I recently heard from another friend that this guy was indeed a jackass! Oh no, my palm springs party led to a crappy date. Man, I do not have a good batting average for sending good guys your way!

  4. Whitney Says:

    And P.S. I am also a decade older, and would never be caught dead in Oakley’s and a visor……..

  5. Rose Says:

    Hey S.A.G,
    OMG ! This guy is a total loser ! It was so cool that you left instead of dragging on waiting for this clown who refuses to let you sit in the shade when he has a visor and talks offensively with a lady.Kudos to you !

  6. Josh Says:

    You should have taken his idea notebook!