Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
January 3, 2011

I was on my way home from the date with Cute Guy with a Puppy (Part 1) and my mind was racing with all that had just happened. From the bazaar topics of conversation, covered in Part 2, to the sales pitch in Part 3; it’s moments like this I realize I need to be using the dictaphone feature of my cell phone.

I reach for my cell phone and get distracted by all the missed communication alerts. One was the Facebook request from when Cute Guy with a Puppy “friended” me from the date. And while I was curious to know how many Facebook friends he actually had, I knew I would not be accepting his friend request. To my surprise, when I clicked on his profile picture, it linked to his open Facebook page. Nice! Some entertainment for red light stops on my way home.

Here is what I learned on the drive:

1. He actually has 4,000+ Facebook friends (how is that possible?)

2. He posted a picture of his Christmas tree with a big picture of himself at the very top. The caption reads: “I couldn’t find a real star, so I put an angel instead”

3. He must be one of those eternal bachelor types because a girl wrote “you’re my favorite bachelor” on his wall.

When I got home I started planning a 3-part blog.

The next morning I stopped by a Coffee Bean on my way to a meeting. As I waited for my soy latte I clicked on my Facebook app to catch-up on the “news” of the day and realized it was still on Cute Guy with a Puppy’s page. Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll flip through some photo albums and see if I can find some redeeming qualities (a little innocent stalking never hurt anyone…). At first I saw the photo album titles you would expect to see…”Random stuff,” “My new dog,” but a couple other titles caught my attention…”Bachelorette Finale Party” and “Bachelorette Reunion.”

Just then, little cloud appeared above my head with Cute Guy with a Puppy’s inside saying, “you didn’t Google me?”

S.A.G.: Oh shit.

I immediately went to the search engine on my Blackberry and typed in his name and the word Bachelor.

Two seconds later I blurted out, “NOOOOO!” (this confused the folks around me at Coffee Bean). Cute Guy with a Puppy had been a Bachelor on one of the Bachelorette seasons and according to Google he continues to work the Bachelor franchise circuit. I immediately call my reality TV expert girlfriend. Her reaction was the same, “NOOOOOOOO!” She continued, “Of course I know who he is. He was suuuuch a d-bag. I can’t believe you went out with him!!!”

She and I were laughing for the rest of my ride to work as I pieced it all together. Now the strange b.s. spewing from his mouth throughout the date actually made sense!

He had been motivated to be eat really healthy, but now it doesn’t matter as much…He always hangs around young 20-somethings with fake boobs…He hasĀ  4,000+ Facebook friends…

No wonder his mom was desperate for him to go out with me.

He must have been shocked to realize I genuinely did not know he who he was. Frankly, I’m shocked he didn’t come clean during the date. I’m sure he assumed I knew who he was when I asked him out…OH GOD, I can’t believe I asked this guy out. Here I was, thinking I had picked up some nice guy at who goes to the farmer’s market with his mom, and it turns out I’ve further inflated the ego of a a guy who has been dragging out his 15 minutes of fame as a sleazeball on TV and at red carpet events. Maybe the inappropriate jokes are part of his TV persona.

It makes me laugh when I think back to the days leading up to our date when I was wondering to myself, “what could possible be wrong with him?”

Let’s turn my horror into a learning experience. The following is what I learned from Cute Boy with a Puppy:

1. Cute guys with puppies cannot be trusted

2. If a guy mentions his 4,000+ Facebook friends more than once on a date, do not assume he’s joking

3. There are types of insurance I didn’t know existed

4. I live in LA

5. I should have Googled him

google search

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5 Responses to “Part 4: NOOOOOOOO!”

  1. Jenn Says:

    OH EM GEE! You HAVE to tell us who he is. This is not the ending I was expecting!

  2. Heather Says:

    Ummm…can we say Narcissistic Personality Disorder?!? (lol)

  3. Whitney Says:

    DYING TO KNOW WHO HE IS AND FROM WHAT SEASON OF BACHELORETTE?? THAT’S KINDA EXCITING!! But yes, sounds like the type of guy I can’t stand (but would really enjoying hating on a reality show).

    By the way, I’m concerned that you are on facebook while driving.

  4. Rose Says:

    OMG ! Didn’t expect this quite.I never watch Reality TV, so had to flip through the channels to get a taste of the Bachelorette and Bachelor.Those shows reek with lots of drama, and they seem so fake yet very entertaining to watch !

    Like Whitney, I too am concerned you’re on facebook while driving.Just looking at an sms, I was about to get into a dangerous situation once, and I wouldn’t do it again.

    I too am kinda curious to know who the guy is. :-)

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