…Apparently I am. Dating coupon backlash.

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 17, 2010

I have to admit I was a bit relieved when I read the reader’s comments to my most recent post about Ex-Coworker Guy. It was good to see that I wasn’t the only person feeling awkward about dating the most considerate guy on the planet.

You see, despite my girlfriend’s relentless opinions that a dating coupon is totally adorable and sweet, there was something about it, coupled with the 3rd-date gift, that made me incredibly uncomfortable (even though I know he didn’t intend to make me feel that way). I’ve deduced a few reasons for this:

1. Too much too soon. While you want your guy to be thoughtful and full of surprises, it can come off insincere when he’s doing it on dates 1, 2, 3, & 4. As a married guy at work told me after I shared the dating coupon with the entire executive team (horrible, I know), “You want your guy to have a bit of an edge.” So true, married guy, so true.

2. I assume he meant the dating coupon as a joke, but it wasn’t completely clear. Yes, one of the date suggestions on the coupon was a “Unicorn back ride,” but overall, the coupon itself was not completely over-the-top.  It had serious dating suggestions as well and his phone number as the RSVP.

3. This guy works in a highly creative industry, so I guess I was expecting greater production value. I realize that sounds super crazy, but when I saw an attachment titled, “invite” I anticipated a well-art-directed, hilariously ironic invitation. Something about the red marker on white printer paper and hugs and kisses symbols in each corner gave me a sort of creepster vibe. See what I mean?


Man - I'm a jerk for posting this.

4. And the actual reason: I’m just not into him enough to swoon over a dating coupon. I’ve been told that if I really liked him, I would love the dating coupon angle. I suppose the fact that I chose to ask him to hang a mirror on my wall at 2 AM over making out with him was a pretty good indication of our lack of chemistry.

Since I’d received an overwhelming response from lady-friends to “stop being such a boy” and give him one more shot, I decided to redeem the coupon and feel it out. Maybe once I see him in person all this uncomfortableness will fade away?

When I got to the bar he looked up and said, “The unicorns are tied up outside.”

…maybe not.

I spent the rest of the night giving off uninterested signs. You know, the mature way to avoid having to actually tell him to his face that I was over it. I paid for dinner, I didn’t reply to his comments about restaurants we should try and I dodged two kisses at the end of the night – it was all very duck and cover.

Pretty sure that he got the message. I mean, he did text me this week, but unless I get a singing telegram I’m going to assume the dating portion of this situation is over.


One Response to “…Apparently I am. Dating coupon backlash.”

  1. Rose Says:

    I like the actual reason, the 4th one S.A.G. I too think the other reasons are there ‘coz of 4. We either have chemistry or we don’t… BUT if giving too much attention is pushing you away from him, and you like the rest of the stuff about him – I’d give it two more dates, just two max, ‘coz he seems like a considerate guy.

    In those, I’d tell him – though I don’t intend to feel that way, I feel the gifts, advanced planning and all that – though you appreciate it on one hand, it’s making you feel pressured that you’re not matching up. ( just not to make him offended ). So hint that you take some low key dates without much planning – just a stroll in the park or hanging out by the pool, or something low key.

    If you still don’t feel any chemistry with this guy in a low key date where he doesn’t freak you out with his thoughtfulness, when there’s no pressure on either side, then sure the chemistry isn’t there for you.

    I don’t know both of you well S.A.G, just a suggestion – so the ball is in your court anyway.I know you’d take an apt decision based on how you feel about him.Wish you Good Luck !

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