What is wrong with you anyway?

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
May 7, 2010

This is probably obvious to all of you, but I just came to the realization that I’m extremely hesitant to get seriously involved with any of my daters.

Before now, I figured I wasn’t getting serious because I don’t want some boy to spoil all the single fun I’m having (still a valid reason). But when I was sitting with Cute Guy with a Boat the other night I just couldn’t stop thinking to myself, “What is wrong with this guy?”

Isn’t that horrible? Here is an attractive, 34-year-old boat owner originally from the East Coast (OK, that might be it) who knows to order champagne with oysters and all I’m wondering as he’s going on about his 3-month sabbatical on a boat in Thailand is that he is hiding something and I must know what it is. It is just so very Seinfeld of me. (Click on the image below to see the video example)

Man Hands

The sickest part of it, is that it’s completely hypocritical. I mean, I’m “almost 30″ (according to 1st eHarmony Date Guy) and I’m still single, so such reasoning would mean that there is something wrong with me as well. And I think we all know by now that is just not true.

I’ve never been this way before. I’ve always been overly optimistic and forgiving of my daters/boyfriends. What gives now that I actually “should” be dating seriously?

I figured it out. I have no frame of reference for these new daters, like I had in my earlier years.

When I was in high school and college, I knew stuff about the guys I dated (O.K., made out with). I knew their friends, I knew their activities and I knew if other, normal people liked them. Even my boyfriend from my mid-twenties was someone I had originally met in College.

I don’t have any of this information on my new daters. All I have is a hometown city and some profile pictures – and whatever else I can scrounge around for on Facebook. So, I can’t seem to stop my mind from running wild with potential red flags, when these guys are very-likely great prospects for serious dating.

I’m going to try to keep this new instinct in check as I go on my upcoming dates. I have one on Sunday with a Greek guy that I met through work (maybe a bad idea), and then Cute Guy with a Boat has invited me (via text) for a “daysail over Mem weekend.”

Oh, wow. My “mom-wouldn’t-like-this” alert just went off when thinking about going out on a boat alone with a guy who is essentially a stranger. But, a sail boat just sounds like so much fun (whining).

Side note: Greek Guy has the most Greek-sounding name I’ve ever heard. I really wish I could break my no-name-sharing rule.

5 Responses to “What is wrong with you anyway?”

  1. sierra Says:

    it reminds me of jane austen when some character is going around saying that they can’t talk to this particular man because “he has no references, he has nobody to recommend him!” so here we are, single girls, floating along on our own, sometimes bumping into strange men and not a clue in the world if they are liked by other normal people. :)

    and similar but completely different, i’m trying to find a random roommate on craigslist! wowee, anxiety. who knows what lurks! there’s all these uber creepy ads under the roomate section. eg “50 year old men living in hollywood hills, seeks companion. rent negotiable, must not have full time job and send full length picture with reply.” um………

  2. nan Says:

    I BET your mom will be worried! You’d better send her a photo of boy and boat that includes the boat’s registration number! Then send some texts during the sail. Would be a shame to send mom into heart failure! Your mom would probably like you to get boat shoes and lots of sunscreen too.

  3. A Says:

    hahaha, funny clip. I can’t agree more with you on this s.a.g – I too found myself doing this an year ago.

    Btw, are you still seeing the sweat-date guy ? hope it’s going well with him.He sounded nice.We’d like to hear more.

    It’s good how you ended up with cute-boat guy, despite the race.

    Enjoy yourself on your dates and see how it goes, instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong with him. :-) If something’s wrong, it’ll automatically show up eventually. – My 2 cents.

  4. Single. Approachable. Girl. Says:

    Sweat-date guy has asked me out since our initial date (amazingly), but due to scheduling conflicts, our 2nd date is still pending. I’ll be sure to let you know!

  5. A Says:

    has asked me out since our initial date (amazingly)

    Amazingly, hahahaha. I don’t think so S.A.G. He could over-look the little imperfections on the date, after all they were not red-flags.

    He also got to know, you hate to keep people waiting, and that you smell great even after a long run ! Pretty cool, ha ? If he’s a sweet guy, I’d think he’d see them ( which he did ) as a major plus.

    Good Luck on your 2nd date with him, and I’m really happy to know you went to the dating event, not keeping your life in hold waiting for that 2nd date with swe(a)et-date guy. :-) Way to go, girl !

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