The Axe-ter Effect

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
May 12, 2010

[I wrote this on Monday]


I’ve been Axed.

I have spent the entire day at work reeking of Axe body spray and (don’t fall out of your chair when I tell you this) it’s the Greek Guy’s fault.

You see, I broke my own rule about making out on a first date, and honestly, I’ve been paying for it in the worst way.

I was out with the Greek Guy for early evening drinks, which turned into dinner, which turned into “authentic Greek wine tasting” at his apartment (I know….I know…).

Throughout the evening, I learned few details about this Greek guy. Some that I’m not so keen on, like the prominent gold chain. Some that are pretty awesome, like how he is related to just about every Greek restaurant owner in the Detroit Metro Area. And some that are hard to relate to, like how his 30-something sister still lives with his parents and will do so until she’s married.

And of course, he has that one Greek quality that is difficult to resist…the passionate kiss. It’s the kind of thing you don’t have to kiss him to know. It’s just apparent.

But I will admit, I was taken aback by the next detail, which I didn’t uncover it until today.

You see, despite the shenanigans (which can best be categorized as a middle school, clothes-on make-out) I got home around 10 PM and got a good night’s sleep. This morning, I did what I typically do on Monday mornings, I put my Sunday outfit back on and went to work.

As soon as I got into the car it hit me. My shirt smelled like it had been marinated in Axe body spray over night and then barbecued in a smoke pit at a luau. I figured it would tone down throughout the day, but I’m telling you, I’ve been plagued by this Axe smell all….day…..long…

This is what I get for getting too close to the Greek Guy? Well, of all the potentially negative side effects, at least this one washes off.

I probably would have looked past his Axe-habit, but after approximately 5,600 inhalations* of that fragranced aerosol male grooming product, I honestly don’t think I can hang out with him again. Seriously, I don’t know what another sniff would do to me.

You think I’m not giving him a chance? I dare you to endure the Axe-ter Effect for one-full day. Then you can judge me all you like.

*Calculation details: According to Wikipedia, we average roughly 700 breaths per hour, multiplied by an 8-hour work day


5 Responses to “The Axe-ter Effect”

  1. singlegirlie Says:

    Aww. Did you not notice the Axe when you were on the date? I usually LOVE to smell a guy after he’s gone – if I’m into him, of course. But then again, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced Axe. Smell is very powerful, isn’t it?

  2. Jen B Says:

    Axe spray is changeable along with the gold chain. Good kissing is worth the Axe smell, but that’s just me. I would give him another shot. The sister thing only seems weird because she is 30. I lived with my parents until I was married. I just lucked out I found my man at 25 so it didn’t seem so weird.

  3. Single. Approachable. Girl. Says:

    To be fair, I remember thinking that he smelled good during the date. Maybe it’s the stale Axe smell that is no good.

  4. Whitney Says:

    I don’t know, I feel repulsed just reading about the smell….can’t stand any kind of cologne smell on a guy. The most revealing part of this post however is that you wear Sunday clothes to work on Monday? Interesting…

  5. A Says:

    well, I get what you’re saying S.A.G.I don’t use perfume ( yeah, shocking to many ), but I take bath everyday with herbal leaf powders from Asia,they smell natural and great. I get repulsed by any strong perfume, even though it may smell good for 3-4 inhalations, it starts to get to my nerves after sometime. I feel like I just can’t breathe.So I get your ordeal totally.

    If you’re not repulsed by his smell during the date, then may be there’s a chance that, it must be wearing the same marinated clothes the next day.

    If it was me, if I was cool with not using the same clothes the next day( if he’s hell bent on using the same perfume in strong quantities ), for the rest of my life, I’d go out with this guy.

    You don’t have enough data right now to know if he’d change or not use the perfume or the gold chain.And I wouldn’t go out several times with him, just to find it out, when I could be dating a man who doesn’t make me uncomfortable during or after the date.

    Instead I’d mention something this way. Hey, do you have any special liking for the perfume you use ?

    may be he’d answer it straight and say he can’t do without it, or he may say yes, or he could ask – why, don’t you like it sag ? You could then say, I smelled of you the next day too, and it made a little uncomfortable inhaling the smell at work.( you’re not asking him to change, you’re just mentioning your prob). See what he says. and I’d take it from there. :-)

    If he responds favorably and acts on it on your next date, then this could be a great guy.You’ll also know if he respects his date’s opinions, when all he needs to do is a simple thing for you.If he’s rigid, you know what to do. :-)

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