Is the 3rd time really a charm?

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
October 22, 2009

Question: Should I be concerned about an attractive, funny guy who casually mentions that he had a fiance in college during our first phone conversation?

Now, it’s important to note that he went to a school in Nebraska and says it was “young puppy love.” I’m thinking it’s probably OK. And so, the conversation continued.

We’re on the phone for quite a while. He is funny, he had lots of questions to keep the conversation going he had sent some fairly hilarious text messages earlier in the day. I’m thinking I can look past the college fiance…not a true red flag.

So, later in the conversation, he casually drops that he was engaged. I’m thinking, ”yeah, we covered that.”

But, as it turns out, he was, in fact, engaged twice…once again in his early twenties. (The red flag creeps back up).

This is a tough one. If the roles were reversed, I could certainly picture a girl saying yes to a proposal in the heat of the moment and then eventually backing out if she wasn’t sure. Maybe she was taken off guard and all eyes were on her when he pulled out the ring…what have you.

But for a boy, there’s the planning, the buying of a ring and the very strong desire to be with that girl forever. And this cute, funny boy has been through that twice and he’s mentioning it to me on our first phone call.

Now this could be taken a number of ways:

On one hand: He’s a guy that is open about his past and likes to commit.

On the other hand: He’s a guy that probably has an issue with follow-through.

One hand: He’s never been married, or divorced and doesn’t have any kids.

Other hand: If it works out, there’s high probability of a hand-me-down ring in my future.

I think I’ve proven to be fairly open-minded in my dating habits, and there was a lot of “good” on the phone call tonight, so I’m going to give this further investigation.

That said, my “alert-antenna” went up when we were texting again after the phone call and he responded to one of my (witty) texts with this joke:

“Oooh I like that! We are going to get married for sure.”


I looked up the origin of the saying “third times a charm” and found this on WikiAnswers:

The first citation I can find for it is in The Weekly Sentinel, June 1912. This is in a rather snooty court report about a Mrs. Martha Carliss, who had been twice married previously:

That Mrs. Martha Carliss evidently believes in peace and happiness in wedlock and that she probably thinks third time’s a charm is shown by the fact that she was granted a license today to marry Andrew W. Mowery.

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One Response to “Is the 3rd time really a charm?”

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