The Approach

Author: Single. Approachable. Girl.
June 10, 2009

Even the most approachable of girls need to do a little role reversal from time to time.


Luckily, as ladies, we have a bit of an advantage. For one, guys are often doing the approaching, so they find it hot when a girl has the “balls” to take the wheel and do the driving. Secondly, having experienced so many bad pick-ups, we know how to devise and execute a good move.


I recently met a guy who shares my passion for American automotive. We spent a good portion of New Year’s Eve standing in the kitchen of a house party talking about this father’s dealership and I was getting a little hot and bothered. I decided he was worth the effort and so, I started planning my approach.


Step 1: Plant the seed. This can be flirting or having a mutual friend talk you up, or both, but the approach will work best if he is already intrigued by you in some way. Luckily(?) for me, when I arrived at the party, a random drunk girl aimlessly tossed a cell phone to someone from across the room and hit my full glass. My face was instantly covered in red wine. In a very crucial moment – amidst the horrified looks from other girls – I laughed, wiped the wine from my face and continued on without a fuss. He had mentioned to our mutual friend how “cool” that was – so I know I had an “in.”


Step 2: Research. This is a step that I think guys often skip, but their win/loss ratio would likely benefit from a few pre-approach inquiries. I mentioned to the mutual friend that I was scoping out American automotive guy and asked what “his deal” was. According to her, he would be “into it” but he was not the type to take the first move…apparently, he was a smidge shy. Perfect. The plan was a “go.”


Step 3: Scope out the competition. Note: If you are interested in a guy, someone else is as well. In my case, this was one of those young, overdone “New Years Eve” girls. You know – tastefully slutty cocktail dress and stilettos (that she refuses to take off) at a house party hosted by x-frat guys. I could tell he would not be interested in her on any real level, but she had all the makings of a hot, easy hook-up, so I knew I would have divert his attention and lock-in the midnight kiss a little early.


Step 4: Avoid a crowd. Have you ever been approached while you’re in the middle of a conversation with friends? No bueno. Not only is there pressure for the approacher to hit a home run with his/her tactic, there is pressure for the approachee to respond in front of judgmental peers. Again, luck was on my side on this New Years Eve. I looked around the party and didn’t see him anywhere. That meant only one thing. He was in the bathroom. That would have to do.


Step 5: Make a Valiant Move. I stood outside the bathroom, as if I were waiting in line. The bathroom was in a hallway and secluded from the rest of the party (again with the luck) and I was the only person waiting. When the door opened, it was in fact him and he said, “I’m sorry, were you waiting?” With one clean swoop I responded, “Kinda,” put my hand on his chest, pushed him back into the bathroom, shut and locked the door and kissed him.


He was clearly surprised, but took to it quickly. As I suspected might happen, he took my approach as a boost of confidence and immediately hopped in the driver’s seat. Needless to say, I secured that midnight kiss…along with 3 dinners and two make out sessions.


*In hindsight, I realize that pushing an un-expecting boy backwards into a bathroom could have gone terribly wrong on a couple of levels, so please be advised if you attempt this approach.

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