My 91-year-old grandma thinks that we have all got it wrong when it comes to dating. Apparently, when she was “playing the field” there was no such thing as dating exclusively. As a young single person, it was essentially open season until a boy proposed. The engagement was the exclusive phase of dating, which would ultimately lead to marriage, or not. As a single person in 2009, this is a fascinating concept.

Grammy says that we are so silly for getting so serious so soon with these men (ok, boys). How can we expect ourselves to be discriminative in choosing a boyfriend, and potential husband, when we’re jumping into serious relationships with the first enjoyable guy that comes along and reciprocates our feelings? Man, Grammy is wise. I mean, if I had taken a truly partisan look at my last boyfriend before getting serious, would he really have been the one I chose?

While Grammy’s dating rule is undeniably brilliant, I’m not sure that society will allow me to play the field the way that she had. Can you imagine the look on a guy’s face when I tell him that I’m not going to stop dating other guys until he puts a diamond ring on my finger? Darn you De Beers! Grammy’s philosophy worked a little better before getting engaged involved tens of thousands of dollars.

While I’m still contemplating how to make this plan a reality, there is one dating insight that she got me thinking about…

You see, when I’m interacting with boys and the situation is just friendly with no relationship pressure, I can be personable, fun, carefree, and even witty – on a good day. But as soon as the situation gets more complicated (i.e. this could potentially be going somewhere more than friends) I change. A switch flips and all of a sudden I’m awkward, unnecessarily chatty and even a little sweaty. What is that about? Why can’t I have that carefree attitude through all phases of dating?

There has got to be a happy medium between Grammy’s radical rule of staying carefree and avoiding monogamy until the last possible second and a girl’s tendency to take things so seriously so soon that we start to lose our “cool.”

Tags: dating, Engaged, Grammy's Dating Rule